Ten Objects Deaccessioned by Consumption

Removed from the record by being eaten or drunk

Most objects leave a collection by sale, loan, or loss. A select few leave by being eaten or drunk — deaccessioned, in the proper term, by consumption. The Collection ranks ten by the cultural weight of the act, and begins, as it must, with its own.

No. 1 · The Standing Entry A one-pint bottle of Garelick Farms Maple Milk, Accession No. CCC.2001.001, deaccessioned 9 November 2001. (See the catalogue.) Consumed by the curator in the immediate aftermath of the incident. Delicious. The only object in the Collection to have been both the principal exhibit and the curator's lunch, and the only deaccession the Collection has ever endorsed without reservation.
The wedding cake top tier, frozen for a year, eaten with neither party present.A tradition that survives the marriages it commemorates.
The last slice nobody would claim, until somebody did.The deaccession was delayed by an hour of mutual politeness.
A gingerbread house, demolished on January 2nd.A dwelling and a snack, condemned on the same day.
The office birthday cake, of which a piece is always left until it becomes a hazard.Deaccessioned eventually by the cleaning staff, never by name.
Communion.The original deaccession by consumption, and the one with the best documentation.
A chocolate advent calendar, finished by December 3rd.Twenty-two doors opened in advance, against the spirit of the instrument.
The emergency granola bar, eaten in a non-emergency.The emergency, when it came, found the drawer empty.
A box of fine chocolates, reduced to the coffee-flavoured ones, which remain.A collection that deaccessions itself, leaving only its least-wanted holdings.
The grapes "sampled" in the produce aisle.An unaccessioned deaccession. The Collection does not condone it, and understands it completely.

Bulletin No. 011 will rank ten maple-flavoured dairy products. The Collection here discloses, in advance, a conflict of interest.